What Am I Doing Here? Why am I a trans dominatrix in Portland Oregon.

This is not an article about the existential question “what am I doing here”, though I’ve smoked some weed so it may very well turn into that. This is about why I am a trans woman living as a professional dominatrix in Portland Oregon.

This one is about what the hell am I doing in this lifestyle, on this site, in the groups I’m part of, at my studio.

For that I gotta tell you who I am. For that I gotta tell you some family history. For that I dug into my ancestral roots. And for that I had to dig deep with the assistance of psychedelics, what I’ve known about my family, therapy, and my own self exploration.

I am the equivalent of, what mountain folk, term a mountain witch. She’s certainly not seen as an evil person by most people. She’s seen as someone who holds a lot of energy, a lot of connection. In fact her fundamental philosophy, my fundamental philosophy, is that I’m connected with everything. It’s all connected and I’m connected to it, so are you. My “witchcraft” is informed, spiritually I guess, by Christianity and Hindu philosophy, though in the last few years, I’ve been heavily influenced by Hindu and I think it has a better grasp on the truths of existence, because it hasn’t been filtered quite so much through the toxins of racism and hatred of the different.

I believe the universe is constantly trying to get you to open up, be vulnerable and admit what you really want and put your energy into fulfilling that. However we walk around with a chatty brain that is constantly asking us questions like, “who do you think you are?” And “what, you think the whole universe revolves around you?”

Yeah, actually I do, LOL. And from my point of view it does. The universe is literally infinite and we suspect it even has infinite dimensions. From where I’m standing I’m right in the middle of all of it. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I know that’s true for you too. So I always have to remember that everyone else is also the very center of the universe. The very purpose for which this is all happening. I am and so are they. So balancing those two truths. And that’s what Namaste is all about. It’s a greeting to the divine. That’s all. It’s a recognition of divinity. It’s almost meant as a reminder.

See, I got existential. What am I doing? I got into this lifestyle, because I found out not only am I a mountain witch, my lineage comes from beautiful women, who were regarded and often judged as prostitutes. I was taught that I should be embarrassed by them. But why? Because they were strong? Because they knew what they wanted (and did not want) and they didn’t play by rules that were meant to oppress them anyway? I’m not one bit embarrassed or ashamed. They were also mountain witches, but weren’t given the vocabulary to be able to say that.

I am a professional dominatrix. That is often regarded as prostitution, even in this community. A professional dominatrix is someone who has established themselves as a person that is ready to take on a role and keep a person safe while that person explores who they are. Safe, physically, emotionally. She should be given whatever she demands. It’s just like any kind of bodywork.

And within my temple, that is the doctrine. Pro dommes and, hell, even prostitutes are held as god-damned sacred. Because they are. Read the Bible sometime, man. Rahab? But even more important than that, indigenous culture, every indigenous culture, even Caucasian indigenous culture (before we were massacred by the Romans). Held a space for folks who could perform acts and set spirits free and help individuals heal. That’s what a pro domme does (or is supposed to do).

So yeah. I’m a professional dominatrix. When someone comes to me, I want to be there while they’re exploring some vulnerable spaces. I’m creating a whole family of kinksters, that I can plug into the wider kinky community that I’ve been able to find. If folks can pay for individual sessions that’s great and it keeps my little kinky world growing. (Because I’m growing something that I’ve had a vision for for years). If they can’t pay for individual sessions, they can plug into the community by coming to events and play in community that is more financially accessible and still helps the community grow. Luckily I’m in the lovely city of Portland, so there aren’t quite as many judgemental assholes. (Though they do definitely still exist) You should see my inbox.

If you want to explore individual sessions you can email madamevortx@gmail.com

I’ll send you an onboarding questionnaire.

If you want to play with me in community, you have to come my events, which I usually post on The Body Temple profile @TheBodyTemple

Tickets

https://fetlife.com/TheBodyTemple/posts/13114988

I’ve learned, over the years, and through extensive therapy and during the process of transitioning to run straight towards what I want, as much as I can, wholeheartedly and as much as I can muster, without fear, paying attention to consent of others around me.

That’s what I hope for you and will push you towards if you are part of me and what I’m doing in anyway. Find out exactly what you’re wanting and, without apology, go after it. Remember our favorite lesson from The Alchemist? “What you are wanting is also wanting you.”